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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Unfair Expectations


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My husband is truly my best friend, so that means I love to spend all of my free time with him.  When we are together we can have fun just sitting and talking.  

In the beginning of our relationship I would continuously give him a hard time, if he couldn't spend time with me. I would feel that he was not giving me the appropriate attention.  Often times I would have feelings of rejection because I felt he was choosing something else over me.  Now don't get me wrong he was always the sweetest man, and most of the time he would consider my feelings first over his.  I know that I didn't have a legit reason to feel this way, but regardless I did. 

This  was something that over time God has helped me with, and it feels good to not put that burden on my husband.  I know I still have a long way to go, but I am definitely a work in progress.

Just recently I saw this post by Ruth Bell Graham, the wonderful wife of evangelist Billy Graham.

"It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her which only Jesus Christ  Himself can be: ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need, and making more than adequate provision, such  expectations put a man under an impossible strain.  The same goes for the man who expects too much from his wife."

This quote really resinated in my heart.  How many times do we expect our husbands to do things, or make us feel a certain way, that only God can provide. 

How many of you wives have been here?  You and your hubby have an argument.  You are feeling all different kinds of emotions about the situation.  Then you become angry because your husband is not providing you with the comfort you feel you deserve.  You may be thinking he is my husband it is his job to make me feel better.  Here is a hard lesson that God has taught me.

"Stop giving somebody else the responsibility  for your joy."

Especially when it only comes from Christ alone.

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.   John 15:11

When you begin to take the pressures off your man, and give them to your merciful and loving Father,  you will begin to see God working.  Eventually your hubby will feel more loved and less pressured, and he will want to give you exactly what you need.  

6 comments:

  1. Love this. I think that we can all relate & I love how you are "giving it up to the Lord" & he gives in return.
    ~The Blogging on the Side girls. :)

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    1. Hi Becky I am definitely a work in progress, but so much farther then I used to be. God is faithful. I have found as well that He gives us so much more than we could ever expect. Thanks for your comment and your blog. I am still new to this blogging thing and I just noticed your comment. God bless.

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  2. Hi Sherri! I'm stopping by from Babies and Beyond. I'm guilty of expecting too much from my husband at times. I find that I'm most content when I focus on being the wife the Lord expects me to be rather than focusing on what my husband is giving (or not giving) me. God always provides and is faithful to work on my husband's heart if I am faithful to rest in Him and submit myself to His leadership. Thanks for sharing the quote. It's great!

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    1. Hi Katherine thanks for your comment and sharing your heart. I know as wives we expect so much out of our husbands, but it's true we have to realize that only God can speak to their hearts not us. That is a lesson that God has taught me. Plus often we need to go straight to God for those things because He is our ultimate provider. I love your blog. By the way sorry for the late reply. I'm still trying to figure out this blogging thing, and I just noticed your comment today. God bless!

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  3. That quote from Ruth Bell Graham is spot on and I am so guilty of placing expectations on my husband that he doesn't deserve! Convicting for sure and another reminder of how important it is to lean on the Lord!

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    1. Hi Amy thanks for your comment. I loved that quote as well. When I first saw it I felt convicted too. Isn't it great how our Father in Heaven convicts us in love. That's what makes us better wives. Step by step depending on Him, that's how we can become the wives He has created us to be. God bless you & your marriage. Sherri

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