God Life Happy Wife: 10+ Wives Club:Elissa

When a couple has the same goals and their lives are moving in

the same direction, that is truly a special and beautiful thing.

When that very goal is putting God first in your marriage

it is the foundation for a strong, and lasting marriage.

Today we are celebrating Elissa.
First she has a heart for God and she shares that on her blog

Positively Affirm

Second her heart is with her wonderful husband Kern.

Read more about their marriage in her interview.

1. How long have you been married?

This June, 2014, will be twelve years. We got marriage June 30th 2002.

2. How did you both meet?

We met at church. Moving away from one home church, in Miami, I was looking for another home church. A friend suggested that we attended a church in her area, and there was where I saw my husband—to be.

I was sitting two rows away from the pulpit. I inhaled the moment he came into my sight. I can still seem him now! His tailor suit hugging his tall slim body, the way he walked close to the wall allowing his squared shoulder to slightly brush against it. His back straight, his head held high, and his slender fingers holding his sword—the Bible, close to his right thigh.

I exhaled as he took his place at the piano. Handsome and talented, now that’s my kind of guy. So, throughout the service, it was hard not to steal a glare or two at the handsome piano man.

3. How many children/grandchildren do you have?

God blessed us with five pregnancies, but only two beautiful babies graced our arms. Our daughter will turn 7 years this May. Our son will be 5 years this May also.

He was due to arrive in April but he came May 1st. However, watching them together I believe he was born to drive his sister crazy, and the first step was cutting in on her birth month.

4. What are your two favorite qualities about your husband?

I love the way he loves God, and is not afraid to shows his dependency upon Him. Over the years, he has taught me a great deal about the history of the Bible. Along with helping me understand that, the Bible is not a fairytale book written for our amusement.

Far from it, the Bible chronicles real history, written by real people, in a real time zone not so long again. This knowledge as helped me to deepen my understanding of God’s words, and for that, I will ever be grateful to him.

I, likewise, love the way he adores his children and is not afraid to let these feeling shows. After a long hard day, it’s a joy to watch my husband’s eyes light-up when he opens the door, drop to his knees, and welcome his children’s embrace.

5. What do you and your hubby like to do for fun?

We are homebodies and very much old-souls. Our idea of fun is being home with the children, in each other’s company. School and work take up a great deal of his time. Nonetheless, we find time to watch old sitcoms like ‘the honeymooners’, ‘the Jefferson’, ‘I Love Lucy’. In addition, we live for old movies like Ben-Hur and To Kill a Mockingbird—the oldies but goodies. Saturday’ afternoons are our favorite; because our family goes for long drives to explore the beauty of the countryside.

6. What is some advice that you would give to a newly married couple?

Much to my surprise, there are good and bad advice folding around on the World Wide Web about how marriages should look. It’s hard for newlyweds to dig through and find what works and what don’t.

I strongly believe there is no teacher like time and experiences.

First and most important put God first, period.

Make God the center of your marriage and everything else will fall into place. When the storms of live comes, and they will come, God will be the only one able to stand-up and say ‘peace storm, be still.’

Second, keep your private life private. Never complain to anyone outside of your home about your private problems. You and your husband need to take all your problems to God first. Your parents, or even friends, may have the best of intentions but they will take sides, God doesn’t.

Take your burdens to God and leave them there.

Third, learn to appreciate each other’s recreational quest. Let your interests be compatible. My husband is a big football fanatic. Me, not so much. However, I have grown to understand the game. I cheer for or against my husband’s team, and, I always paid close attention to what’s going on in the world of football.

Now, I am not saying you have to know every aspect of his hobbies or interest, but at least show him you are open to learn and grow. This is crucial because a couple that’s divided will never stand.

Fourth, love spending time with yourself.

Spending time together is good, but don’t rely on your husband for your totally happiness. Happiness comes from understanding your purpose in life and whom God as design you to become.

Try to be selfless, giving more than you are willing to receive—it will come back to you. Find a hobbies, something you love doing at home—cooking, watching cooking shows, whatever it may be, do that and you both will be happier for it.

Fifth, please, don’t compare your marriage to others wishing it to be yours. Not all marriages, or people, are the same. We all have to learn by trials and errors.

Simply complimenting you husband each day can make a world of different in your marriage. Men love to be praise. They want to know that you appreciate them.

Enquiring about his day is also a great booster for your relationship. It creates space for togetherness and conversation. Unlike us, most men are not hasty to express themselves so; listen if he is willing to talk, if he isn’t just let it go. He will talk soon enough—I am still learning this after eleven years.

Finally, Look to God to give you wisdom to perfect your own marriage. Your marriage is scared and was design just for you.

7. What would you say is the key to your lasting marriage?

We have tried to put God first, and each other second, in everything we do. I never let an argument go for too long. About a year into our marriage, I fashioned the fifteen minutes rule. Fifteen minutes or less of protesting my side of an argument and then I shut my mouth—well until I am in the shower by myself. It has worked thus far.

In addition, my husband continues to be my best friend-seriously. He always knows how to put a smile on my face with just the raising of his eyebrows.

I believe, if he makes you laugh more than he causes you to cry, you have a lasting marriage.

We love spending time together, but individual space is always vital. I have learned to give him space and not be resentful in doing so. I pray for my husband well-being daily. Asking God to protect and keep him in all areas of his life—unquestionable, he does the same for me. These are some of the things, I believe, that has kept our marriage strong.

8. What would be one thing you would want others to remember about your marriage?

I would want my marriage to be remembered as one of love and respect. One in which God was in the center of all we did, in and outside of our home.

It is easy to be upright outside the home. However, how we treat each other when no one is watching, that is the true test of a marriage. Never worry about what others thinks of your marriage. Live your lives to please God.