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Welcome my name is Sherri. I am a follower of Jesus. I have been blessed to be the wife to my best friend Markiel. I am a mother to my tween son Amari and my preschool daughter Sanai. By God's grace I have found true joy in serving my family in our home. Even amongst all the everyday craziness I know this where God has called me to be. I learn something new everyday. I also recently became a part time bible teacher at my daughter's preschool. So I have the best of both worlds.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

How To Handle Conflict In Marriage

When God brings two people together in marriage, to live for better or for worse, He already knows before you even say your vows, inevitably you will experience conflict.

It's marriage come on folks we all go through it. Some couples maybe more than others, depending on how you learned to handle conflict

God promises us that He will be with us but not that it would be easy.  The good thing is He already gave us a perfect example of how we should behave.  It is continuously shown to us throughout God's word and we need to make it our priority to read it and learn. It is also our responsibility to God and our spouses to apply the word of God to our lives and follow through. 

Here is the perfect example that God sets before us on how we should behave.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. Psalm 103:8-10

Does this sound like how you normally treat your spouse?

God knows we are humans and make mistakes. Often times we get caught up in our own emotions, we speak or act in the heat of the moment, or allow so many other factors to influence or behavior. 

God is the only one that truly knows our hearts. When we continue to keep our hearts focused on Him and His example, through Him we are able to live a life that reflects His example.

The important part is it's only through him that we can have victory in this area. We can come up with a plan on our own of how we are going to handle situations and be more in control of our words and actions. We might even have success in the beginning and feel like we have gotten pass this area, but it will only be a matter of time until we fall back into our old habits. 

Now maybe I'm speaking from experience, but only God is perfect and has perfect love, so until we learn to look to His example and depend on His guidance, we will continue to fall short.

When your spouse mistreats you, or says something that sets you off, initially you will be angry that's only natural but here are some steps that can help you handle the situation.

1. Spend the next few minutes or hours depending on the seriousness of the situation, getting your emotions under control by talking to God. Pray, pray, and pray some more!

2. Talk to yourself about how foolish it is to let someones unkind ways ruin your whole day, even if it is your spouse. Then follow up with scripture and pray for your spouse, whether you feel like it or not. It really is the right thing to do. 

3. Decide to believe the best in your spouse and try to get your mind off their offense and on to something more pleasant. 

Take as long as you need to go through these steps, and repeat if needed. Often times it may take longer for God to settle your heart, but once this process becomes the new norm you have already allowed God to give you victory. 

Also remember we can do things that hurt our spouses, and often without even intending to do so. We must remember to follow the golden rule, and treat our spouses in a way that we would like to be treated. It's not just for kids, it is in God's word. 

Obeying and meditating on God's word is medicine to our souls. It brings us instruction and comfort in every situation.

Keep this in mind: slow to anger, and quick to forgive. We don't want to give any opportunities to the enemy. 

Be Blessed!

How do you handle conflict in your marriage?

Do you feel you have control in this area?

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