Being Raised and Loved by a Step-parent: My reflection as an adult

Welcome! Today is week 2 of the guest bloggers 

Celebrate Love Series.

Today I am honored to introduce you to 

Jackie.

Jackie blogs at Best Life At Home.

Read her encouraging story of love.

My parents got divorced when I was very young. I still remember the day my mom packed up all our belongings into a moving truck. She buckled my three siblings and me into our seats, and we headed up the road to a town three hours north. I remember thinking the whole family was moving, not realizing that my dad wasn’t coming with us.

I was in kindergarten, just five years old, and oblivious to the ramifications of divorce for most families. I had no idea how terrifying this decision was for my mom, especially since our family was large by today’s standards. There were four of us kids, each two years apart (which meant my younger brother was 3 and my baby sister was 1).

Since this blog post is about love, I wanted to bring special attention to the man who married my mom and raised us as his own: my step-dad, Gene. His love for my mother must’ve been over the moon, considering we were a package deal: her + all four of us kids, ages 8 and under!

The first years weren’t easy. Looking back, I can’t believe my mom and step-dad were so understanding and patient with us as we fought to accept Gene into the family (or not accept him, as it often was early on). Gene is an educated and loving man, though, and he believed in boundaries for kids in a way that I didn’t understand at the time. Now that my husband, Mitch, and I are raising three kids of our own, I admire them so much more for sticking to their guns and being firm when we tried to push in every direction.

Being a child of divorced parents is hard, confusing, and leaves a gaping hole in your heart. Step-parents don’t have an easy path to navigate as they try to love and fill the holes, while respecting ex-spouses and children’s feelings. My dad moved seven hours away, a distance that seemed to grow further and further every year, as we saw less and less of him. He also re-married and started a new family.

My step-dad, Gene, raised us as his own. He was there for us to teach us things like hunting and fishing (yes, I grew up in small-town Minnesota, where girls do these things!), and he sat through hundreds of hours of basketball and volleyball games. He handed out $20 bills when we desperately needed money to go out to movies or dinner with our friends, and he was even there when we were teenagers and the cops brought us home (just once or twice!).

When God brings two people together in a second- or third-marriage and there are kids involved, you know He has a big plan to overcome the obstacles. My parents’ marriage has been tested so many times by the actions of their kids, but somehow they have remained strong and bonded through an amazing love and remarkable ability to forgive.

I’m forever blessed to have had a loving father in my life. One who cared enough about me to put up with my early days of wanting him to go away so I could have my “real dad” back, my adolescent troubles and craziness, and my ever present need for parents to love me.

Gene now has 10 grandchildren, and another on the way (my sister is expecting), and has been the most loving and caring “Grandpa Geno” any child could ever as for.

If you’re reading this and have a step-parent, or are re-married and are raising someone else’s children (or they are helping to raise yours), I pray that you understand the importance that a step-parent’s devoted love and attention can have on a child. And I’d like to say thank you, Gene, for always loving us and being there all these years.

By Jackie Johnson

Hi, I'm Jackie! I’m a mom of three kids (6, 4 and 1) and have been married to my dear hubby, Mitch, for 8 years. We live in South Dakota, a lovely place to raise a family and a surprisingly fun area of the country. I'm a blogger, freelance marketing specialist, and an instructor at Globe College. My passion is helping moms find their best self and reminding people of God's love for them! My blog is www.bestlifeathome.com - I hope you can stop by and say hi.

If you missed out on last weeks blogger Elisabeth click here for week 1 

of the Celebrate Love Series.

Come back next Monday February 17th for the next blogger of the series.